there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
