Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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