We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
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Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
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I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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