i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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