Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
