You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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