The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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