she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
