Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.