If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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