everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
