sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
