You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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