Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
