Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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