therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
