Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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