I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We are two peas in an std pod
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
