Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Shame - the story of my life.
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