It was confusing and full of hummus
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
