I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
