I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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