dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
