How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
