Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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