i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.