Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it