Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
