Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
