I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
