IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
