Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
