Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I think I died a long time ago.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
