I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize