all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
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He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
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Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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