so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
