There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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