I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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