I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
