dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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