So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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