South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
