So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
