so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
