Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Randomize
