I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
