So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother