There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
