Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?