I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
