If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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