Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
