kristin has been a bad kristin
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I AM VODKA MAN
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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