You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Watching her eat just hurts me
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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