There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
