are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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