I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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