I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
