cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
