That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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