A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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