Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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