i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i will never coherently bang her
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
