Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
