she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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