I never want to see another naked old woman again.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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