Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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