Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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