I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
