I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
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My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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